Not such a good post. ah well.

I'm not sure what to ramble on about today. I guess its gonna be a sorta negative thing, even though I really don't like that. 


I've been writing about lessons I've learned, so I'll guess I'll write about this one. It sucks how I learned it, cause I was on the butt end, but whatever. 


Being a leader means you've got to put your own pride down and realize that you aren't as hot as you think you are. Just because one person thinks you're the shit, it doesn't mean everyone will.  And, if you're the new guy, there is no freaking way you can come into an established environment and go against the guy that has 20+ years of experience over you. No way. That doesn't even sound like it makes sense. At least it doesn't to me. When you're in a leadership position and you don't do what you should, the guys under you get pushed/pulled/trampled and everything else as they wait patiently under the scuffling of their superiors. That sucks. That doesn't make me want to go out and follow you. Not at all.


And actually, I do have a more happy thing to write about. It actually kinda goes with my last post. I think I've come pretty close to realizing what home is. And that I'm not there anymore. This is all according to my opinions and what all I've seen, but I don't think I'm too far out in left field.  Home is where your mind goes when it wanders.  Home is that place you tell stories about, and all through it you smile because of memories.  Home is the place where the people who TRULY care about you are.  Home is where you could easily see yourself spending the rest of your life.  I really want to go home.  Home, you're never alone.  You could be in a place with people who are all total strangers, yet there is a little strain of comfort flowing through them.  There is always that chance that they have some strange connection to you through someone else.  That little connection means you're really with a friend.  Its just a friend you haven't met yet.  When you're in a new place, it is really quite scary because you don't have that.  Even as a newly made adult.  


I remember being teeny child and thinking about how fearless adults must be.  They aren't really.  I've learned this now.  I could have saved myself so much worry if I'd realized this earlier.  Its not about not being scared. Its about doing it even though you're scared.  That is just the beginning though.  For me, just learning that little step helped immensely.  Kinda like going up stairs isn't so hard when you can see at least one of the steps.


Ah crap. I lied. I have five million things to ramble about. Just like always.


Random observation of mine, nothing deep now.  I have discovered that I can blow my own mind. I was having to translate a passage for class, and I'm sitting there reading it in one language, and writing it in another.  I was like WOAH. I'm awesome! :D It was silly, but it made me happy that I could do it without any trouble.